Use Me As You Will, Pull My Strings Just For A Thrill.

Sometimes I would really like to shake you so hard and make you wake the hell up so you'd see how much unhappiness you're causing me. But too bad, even if I made you see the truth, you would deny it because I am always in the wrong, and you never are. I'm so tired of this shit and it feels like all I'm allowed to feel these days are negative feelings. I feel like I can't get any respite because you're so invasive, and no matter how fast I run, and how far I run, you will always, always catch up with me. As much as I try to fight these negative feelings it's impossible to because you're too big a part in my life and you will always have a control on my life and my emotions.

Sometimes I really wish you'd sober up to the fact and acknowledge how unhappy I am. But no, you never want to. Because doing so would admit your inabilities and I'm pretty sure you don't want that. Sometimes I feel like I know you actually notice how unhappy I am, but because of your pride, your ridiculous selfish pride, you refuse to back down and give in to me. I feel like my spirit is slowly being broken into pieces because of you. Because you never want to admit my negative feelings.

I am so sick and tired of this life and I just want to get it over and done with and end it as soon as I can. I used to have this ideal life but maybe it's not that ideal anymore because no matter where I go to, you will always be there. You've managed to make me feel so helpless and useless. I really hate how unhappy I feel EVERY SINGLE DAY but you probably don't care.

Sometimes I just feel so unwelcome here.

I hope you realize I'd do anything just to end all these.