Forgiveness

Just this last week I learnt about forgiveness. I have decided that other than the necessities like health, love (not a necessity to a rare few, though), forgiveness is something we all truly need. Like any other person on the street, I find it really easy to bear a grudge. It's so easy to stay angry at someone, to hold something against them, and to be unhappy. And what do you do when you're feeling so negative and bitter?

You take revenge.

Revenge comes in many, many forms. They can come physically (ignoring a person, depriving him/her of physical intimacy, and more) or mentally (inflicting mental abuse, being cold and distant). So last week I tried my hand at mental revenge. In fact it's the only form of revenge that I really only use - only because it hurts and inflicts the most damage. But through it all, I was so, so unhappy. I kept griping and complaining about it to my friend and I even caught myself at the brink of tears (in public, no less) a couple of times. I was so mad. I was so determined to take revenge on the person who had hurt me so much. It's very easy to be emotionally cold and distant. When you're emotionally distant, your actions naturally follow suit. And there you have it - a full blown revenge underway.

But gradually I realized that while you're inflicting pain on the other person, you are, actually just hurting yourself too. I mean, it doesn't feel good to be unhappy/upset, does it? It's so much easier to just let the anger dissipate, then talk about it calmly with the other person (be it a friend or your better half) and learn and move on from there. This is an important lesson I learnt last week. No doubt, it's difficult to forgive and forget (I don't get the concept of forgiving but not forgetting - if you don't forget you're just holding on to the issue and how does that translate into forgiving..?) but it's always for the best.

The best thing you can do for yourself is to forgive. The best thing someone can get from you is your forgiveness.

(gentle note to self to read this each time I feel angry at someone, anyone hahahah)