Even The Sun Sets In Paradise

I hate how easy I forgive and forget sometimes. I hate how uncertain you make me feel sometimes, how I feel like you've got me at the tips of your fingers, ready to manipulate and twist me around. I hate how I get annoyed with you, and how easily I stop staying irritated with you. I hate how you just seem to get me so easily, how you seem to read my mind on everything. I hate how it isn't the same for me - how I find you so elusive sometimes. Maybe it's my inability to read people well, maybe it's 'cause I'm like an open book. I hate so many things, and I especially hate how I drop everything just for you. It's stupid. I'm stupid.

•  

I was told that I'm like an open book - I'm easy to read. I was told that being open is good - lesser arguments, easier to anticipate (haha, how is this even a good thing), and that I'm frank etc. But what you don't understand is that I also wear my heart on my sleeve. It makes me susceptible to being taken advantage of, easily manipulated. Disappointments, they teach you to be wiser. They teach you to be guarded against people, to not give yourself away so easily. 

"But what good is your heart if it isn't meant for breaking?" 

•  

Exam tomorrow and I completely have no mood to complete my final revision. Didn't really sleep well last night for some reason. I think I only got 4 hours of sleep last night, and when I woke I couldn't make myself go back to sleep. Whenever I find myself unable to sleep, it really just means something's bogging me down. I think I'm too good at suppressing. 

•  

Photos soon! Been having too many wordy posts of late. I think I should really stop brooding. Hahaha hmm. Gonna be a busy week next week, meeting up with plenty of people. I'm excited :) 

Okay time to force myself to try to study.. Zzz. 

"Trust your heart if the seas catch fire. Live by love though the stars walk backwards. Honour the past but welcome the future."

E.E Cummings