Sometimes all I really want to do is run away. From my life. I don't know why have I become so jaded about the way things are but I think it's scary how I am losing my motivation in a lot of things that I am doing. I no longer do the things I used to love. I no longer find joy in the activities that I engage in. Happiness feels very short-lived to me these days. And happiness is very easily destroyed. I don't deny the fact that most of the times, I think I'm the one causing myself to be in this misery. What a joke right, self-induced misery. I hate how my life has become and how mundane my routines are. I feel the anticipation and excitement towards life slowly creeping out of me. It's like I no longer look forward to things anymore. The hopes that I used to have for the future are diminished. The comfort I used to be able to find in things that gave me joy is gone. I really, really hate how jaded and tired of life I have become. Am I always going to feel this void that is slowly but steadily gnawing away at my soul, or will I ever be able to break out of this depressive streak? A facade will always be a facade and nothing more, but how long can one put up a pretense, really? Every day I can't help but question if this is all there is to life. Every day it feels like something inside of me dies a little.
I hate how I have become. I hate how I feel like I am treading the path of destruction. I hate how I can't do anything to change things.
How can I aspire to save people when I can't even save myself?
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