Sinking):

Yknow what, I think I'm at the lowest point of my life now. Really.

I've never ever faced anything like this in my entire 19 years of existence.

In the past, any problem didn't see hard enough for me to solve. People would help me out, God would see me through, and things'll just fall into place.

In the past, I would get over any setback that's thrown my way. Because I told myself, I'm like a rubber ball, when I hit the floor (which would be the lowest point), I can always easily bounce out.

But this time?

I don't know if I can.

As much as I convince myself that I'm okay, everything is alright, God will work things out and pave a way for me, am I really convinced by everything I say?

Am I convinced by everything I'm telling myself?

Honestly, maybe not.

This week has been a really really bad week thus far.

Bad news has been continuously thrown at me. From Monday till now, everything seems to be going wrong. The only good thing that happened to me so far is that I passed my BTE. But then again, that's nothing tough, is it?

I think back on the past few years on my life, and yknow what, maybe they're all filled with regret.

Regrets about things I did, about things I didn't do, and about things that I could change or improve.

Things that I knew I could have done something to, but I chose not to.

And now all the repercussions of my actions are all coming back to me. They're all hitting me back and I can't fend against them.

Could I have done better? Yes.

Could I have not done those things that I'd regret? Yes.

Maybe I'll get over this.

Maybe.