Can't fight this.

I hate this. I think I'm lapsing back into the evil cycle of being happy temporarily and then being sad for the bulk of the time again.

I don't know what's wrong, I really can't figure things out.

I hate reflecting over my life and thinking over every little detail and then getting upset because of the way things are turning out in my life. I hate it. But I can't help it. Because I tend to think too much. And.. That sucks.

I don't want to be caught in this cycle anymore. I hate it. But I can't fight it.

Some people just have time for all the people in the world except you. Even if they make up a big part in your lives. Just because you can put them as your priority doesn't necessarily mean they'll do the same. Sad fact of life.

I don't want to pretend like I'm happy and enthusiastic and friendly and lively anymore when that's the last thing I'm feeling. I don't want to have to put on a facade and try to be happy just to please people. I don't want to act. I don't want to try. I want to cry when I feel like it, laugh when I want to, smile when I'm happy and do things my way. I don't want to pretend anymore.

I hate it. I hate this.

Today I started thinking about things again and I realized that no one's going to be there forever. People die, people leave, people move on. Best friends don't last forever, relationships can come to an end and families can still break up. Sad fact of life.

Wtf am I typing. I hate being emo. Sighhhh.

I think I'm just getting intimidated by life and all the changes that I'm going to have to face and so I'm posting all these emo thoughts. CANNOT. BE. SCARED. No matter what happens, life goes on.

Yifang just asked me why am I so sensitive. Idk why either....... I've been thinking quite a lot ever since Sunday after I nearly got knocked down. WHY?!

Dear laptop,

tonight it's just you and me through the night and no one else.