What an extremely lousy Saturday spent at home doing practically nothing when I have a mid-term exam coming up in, say, 1.5 days more? Absolutely hate it when I have an impending exam coming up and I happen to be performing well within my productive curve. And as the exam approaches and the anxiety adds up, I start hating myself for not pushing myself harder and for not stopping myself from slacking when I still had ample time to study.
I think maybe I ought to not skip alcohol classes anymore and maybe even start paying attention in it. All I did was skip one damn lesson and I feel so lost now. Maybe because I haven't been paying attention during my classes at all... At the end of the day, when the entire cycle ends, I guess I only have myself to blame. As usual.
Feeling at an all time low for some reason. Like I can't even make myself feel better. Sucks to feel like this....... What's wrong with me seriously. But at the end of the day I know I will be okay. And even if I'm not I know I will still appear okay. And that's the most important, isn't it? To appear nonchalant and okay to the entire world. Random moment of weakness... I seriously hate this shit.
What if you were still here? What would things be like? How different would my life be? How different would yours be? What if I didn't do the things I did? Would our paths cross again? I have so many questions that I lack the answers to. I am my biggest enemy.
Some people can be so inconsiderate I can't even...........
My thoughts are consuming me again. I hate this.
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