I keep asking myself,
I do so much for others. I help my patients out. I help them find meaning in their lives and I help them on the path to rehabilitation. I am a friend to my patients. I listen to them rant and bitch about others. I witness them boasting about the nice things life has bestowed upon them (kids, their heydays etc). I see how patients, who used to be grumpy and mean, turn into nice and helpful people who bless others with their existence. I bring my patients on fun and enriching classes and watch them learn new skills. I look at them beam with joy whenever they master something new. I bring them relief, fun, and joy; I provide a listening ear; I lend them my company; I notice when they are feeling down and I try to cheer them up. I do so much for my patients.
But, what can I do for you?
And I realize, in despair and disappointment and resentment (towards myself), that I can't do anything for you at all. And that thought depresses me so much no matter how I try to push it out of my head.
I am sorry. I love you.
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