Never knew why, each time I'm in desperate need, I turn to this little space as an outlet for my feelings and thoughts. I haven't blogged in perhaps three months, not because I haven't had the time to update, but because.. I don't know what to write about that is a big milestone enough to share with people.
Wish I had something positive to share, but most nights I end up in a pensive mood, with negative thoughts consuming me. Sometimes these emotions spiral out of control and I can't quite keep myself in check.
Tonight is one of those nights, but no idea what pushed me to type my jumble of thoughts in this tiny space. Maybe because if I didn't find an outlet to release, I would be pushed over the edge? Ha, I don't know.
Life is so weird. Never thought that at (nearly) 23, I would still be grappling with the complexities of life and I would still be struggling to get my life in order. Never thought that while I appear to be an adult to the outside world, on the inside I'm still having problems trying to find order in this chaos. So many things that I never thought of/would happen..
Feels like a part of me died today.
I will never be perfect enough.
And knowing that.. Kills me.
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