The moment I realized I lost you forever, that was worse than having a knife plunged into my heart, repeatedly. I gave up whatever good that we have because I wavered and I was unsure, I gave us up because I was tired of trying, and I was weak. I thought you would always be there for me, ready to take me back into your arms should I come running back, but I was wrong, so wrong. How stupid and naive could I be, I really don't know. All the promises we made, all the memories we forged together, it's all going down all because of me.
Today I realized I've lost you forever, and there's nothing I can ever do about it. And knowing that.. Knowing that kills me more than anything else.
I can't fight these demons, not anymore, not on my own. I tried so hard, so damn hard and all it took was an accumulation of these things to just kill me all over again.
I can't do this anymore.
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